“I always gave so much to everybody else while I was using that I didn’t leave any me left for me. Now I have those tools and boundaries I can set to where my me time is my time, and I don’t have to feel guilty about it.”
Talking to Laura Diaz, she’s not quite sure when her substance use crossed that line and became a problem. She describes herself as a typically curious high schooler but recollects rolling joints in math class. She started partying every night in her late teens but, at least at first, her friends were there too.
What she’s sure of is this – after about 15 years of struggling, Laura had had enough. She brought her daughters to their father’s house, came to The Empowerment Center, and finally focused on what she needed for herself. Today, 2.5 years sober, Diaz is exceling at work, reestablishing her relationships with family, and planning for her future.
Here’s what she learned along the way:
Laura’s Tumble
After graduating high school in Carson City, Laura went to cosmetology school. It was here that she fell in with a group of Tahoe girls that partied a lot. Laura first tried coke with them and was drinking every night. She started doing heroin, then meth. In time, she explains, “everybody kind of grew up and I just stayed in that same circle of life.” Early on, Diaz started to see some consequences. She worked at a hair salon but was fired when caught stealing from work to support her habit. She then couchsurfed with friends, working a series of jobs she didn’t care as much about.
Laura has two daughters and got clean for both of her pregnancies. Shortly after her first daughter was born, struggling with postpartum depression, she started using again hoping it would help her feel better so she could be a better mom. She was arrested close to her daughter’s second birthday and spent six months in jail. She stayed sober through her 15 months of probation, but started drinking and doing coke and meth the day she got off it. After her second daughter was born, Laura also quickly began drinking and using again. Her life began to get progressively worse.
In Recovery at The Empowerment Center
During COVID, Laura lost her job. She says she blamed it on COVID, but it was really more than that. She shares, “It’s just been a sick cycle, until this last time I went out. I got so lost in my mind emotionally, mentally, physically. I ended up here at The Empowerment Center, which was kind of my grace.” By then, Laura’s daughters were 11 and 3 and she knew she needed to get clean, at least long enough to plan her next move. “I had a dope pipe in one hand and an eviction notice in the other and my only option was rehab. I either had to figure it out or I wasn’t going to make it.”
First, Diaz went to Behavioral Health Center in Carson City for their 21-day rehab. From here, she knew she wanted to quit but wasn’t sure how to do it, and knew she needed a longer program. She applied to The Empowerment Center – and was accepted.
Laura had tried rehab before, but it hadn’t worked. Upon arriving at The Empowerment Center, she explains that “coming here was a culture shock. There were rules, but not ‘rules.’” By this, she means that TEC had rules about what mattered, like not leaving the premises during the early recovery stages, but not rules again smaller things like eating junk food or swearing. She liked that a lot.
More importantly, she appreciated how much of TEC was run by other recovering addicts. “There were times I would have attitude and forget and have to apologize for it, but it was OK to just not be OK,” she remembers. “Everybody knows what you’re going through. They’ve all been there, so they know the process.”
At The Empowerment Center, Diaz enjoyed have a community of women to come home to at the end of each day, where everyone was excited to see her. She enjoyed participating in the program’s classes, and actually doing the AA steps. She had previously done steps 1, 2, and 3 “about 500 times” but had never made it through them all and found release in completing them. She especially enjoyed the friendships she made at TEC, including reconnecting with her now-best friend. Krystal Paetz (another TEC graduate, check out her story here).
Centering Herself
At an Empowerment Center group session, Laura was once asked to name 5 personal boundaries. “What do you mean?” she then asked? She didn’t understand the question. Today, her outlook is completely different.
She knows she can’t be there for anyone if she doesn’t take care of herself first – so she prioritizes just that. For Laura, self-care means taking a relaxing bath, reading a book, or even just taking five minute to reset in complete silence. Or, she’ll give herself a manicure and pedicure, go out for a solo lunch at a favorite spot, or buy a new outfit. Diaz carves out at least one day a week with no phone, no kids, to do what she wants. She finds “It helps me get through what I’m going through, helps me ask my higher power for guidance, away from all the commotion of everything around me.
For those in recovery, Laura recommends doing something small each month, just for you. These days, her self-care routine feels more important than attending AA meetings. She’s learned to enjoy doing these things independently, and no longer waits for someone to do them with her.
Rebuilding Relationships
Early in her time at The Empowerment Center, Laura talked to counselor, Richard Brown, about not knowing how to truly quit – instead of just switching to only drinking once in a while. He asked, “Who was that child before any of this happened?” Laura felt like it broke her. She pinky promised him to stay sober. And it worked. Today, creating better relationships with family is a key piece of Laura’s life.
In September, she went to the ocean for a week, to Bodega Bay, for a girl’s trip with her mom, aunts, cousin, and cousin’s daughter. It was the third time she’s been well enough to join them for this getaway and she looks forward to it every year – next time, Laura’s older daughter hopes to join as well! These days, Laura babysits for her brother’s kids, sees her mom as one of her best friends, and is excited to hear her dad tell her how proud he is.
While Laura’s younger daughter doesn’t remember much, her older daughter does, and Laura’s worked hard to repair their relationship. Today, she’s proud that she can just be a normal mom. She spent her summer hanging out at her apartment’s pool and going camping with her kids – and loved it.
She’s also stayed close with people she’s met in recovery, while cutting ties with unhealthy relationships from her former life. She’s realized that to create something different for herself, she had to let them go. Laura’s still in therapy, working on past traumas – and overall, life is feeling pretty great.
Next Steps for Laura
Diaz has worked at Audi Reno Tahoe for 1.5 years, where she’s a Service Receptionist. She likes her coworkers, her management, and appreciates getting to show up and work with a great team each day. Laura’s been in the auto industry for much of her adult life and her goal is to continue working for Audi and get promoted through the company.
Additionally, with the encouragement of her friends in recovery, Laura’s taking online classes to become a Peer Support (PRSS), so she can give back and help others still struggling with their addictions. As a Peer Support, she’ll be able to be an accountability partner for those newer to sobriety – and looks forward to the opportunity to do so. In her own recovery, Laura appreciated being able to both confide in her Peer Support and lean on them for support with things like research jobs and searching for housing. Now 38 years old and sober since February 8, 2022, Laura Diaz is ready to do just that.