“Without Marvel Way, without having this beautiful place, I know I would be back on the streets or doing drugs again. And my kids need me. They need a level-headed mom who isn’t on drugs anymore.“
Nicole Hulihee has been sober for a year and lives in a 1-bedroom sober-living apartment at Marvel Way with her 2 youngest children. A graduate of The Empowerment Center’s treatment program, she’s recently clean from many years of addiction to meth. As a survivor not only of drug addiction, but physical and sexual abuse, for Nicole, Marvel Way represents a supportive environment where she, finally, can create a different sort of life for herself and her family. It’s her space to grow her relationships with her 6 children and 2 grandchildren, create friendships she can truly count on, and continue to work on her sobriety.
Here’s how she got here, and what matters most to Nicole today:
Nicole’s Youth
Nicole Hulihee was born and raised in Redwood City, California, where she comes from a big family. She begins her story by talking about her grandmother, who held their family together. Nicole is a survivor of being raped and molested at age 7, by her uncle. When it happened, her grandmother, aunt, and mom were the only ones who believed her. They stayed by her side while she testified against him in court. When Nicole lost her grandmother at age 9, she felt like she lost a lot of her support system.
Alcoholism and drug use was common in Hulihee’s family, so she’s always been around it. Nicole tried drugs for the first time at 14, after she lost her first child. She was 6.5 months pregnant and living with the father, when he came home from a party, beat her, and caused her to lose the baby. “That’s when I turned to crystal meth, at that time it was crank, and I loved it,” she shares. “It numbed my pain. It numbed everything and helped me forget.”
Becoming a Mother in Active Addiction
Hulihee had her first child when she was 20 and has 6 in total, ranging in ages from 12 to 24. Especially with her older kids, she missed out on a lot of experiences due to her addiction, and due to the men in her life. Her first two daughters were fathered by a man she describes as mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive – but not physically until she wanted to leave. Her girls were 2 years old and 6 months old. When it came time to signing for custody, Nicole believed she was signing a 50/50 agreement, but that the father was in truth tricking her into signing away her parental rights.
Nicole always stopped using when she learned she was pregnant, but had trouble sticking with it once her kids were born. With her third child, she began using again when she went through postpartum depression. She shares, “I wanted the streets instead of being a mom. I wanted to get the fast money. I wanted to sell drugs and live that fast life, and I didn’t want to take him with me.” She did the best thing she knew, and brought her son to his paternal grandmother’s house. His Abuela and Abuelo raised him, but she continued to be a part of his life as much as she could.
Nicole went on to have 3 more children. She got clean with each pregnancy, but it didn’t stick once they were born. She had relationships with men that were often unhealthy and physically abusive. She was shot while trying to evict her cousin from her house. She lost one of her son’s fathers to complications from extreme obesity.
The last time Nicole was arrested, she was given a 1-4 year sentence. Instead of serving her sentence in prison, she chose to get clean at The Empowerment Center.
From The Empowerment Center to Marvel Way
Nicole completed The Empowerment Center’s 5-month treatment program in 2023. Here, she participated in individual and group sessions, enjoyed outings in the community, returned to work, and found people she could depend on. When asked what about the program clicked for her, she talks about how it taught her dignity, patience, how to utilize her time, and how to budget and spend her money wisely.
Although she relapsed briefly, Nicole learned from the experience that she didn’t need drugs in her life. She wanted to be capable of being a best friend to someone and to doing motherhood clean and sober. While she entered The Empowerment Center by taking a deal after her last arrest, what she took away from the program helped her reset her life. Hulihee recognizes that the tools she picked up in treatment are helping her to live the life she has today.
Nicole shares, “When I completed the program at The Empowerment Center and moved into Marvel Way, got my key, it was one of the best days of my life. I was able to say, ‘this is my own and I can start back at one again.” She felt even better once her boys could join her.
Why Marvel Way is Working for Nicole
At Marvel Way, Nicole is away from her old stomping grounds, has no excuse not to go to the 12-step meetings in the Community Room, and is surrounded by support every day. She especially appreciates the help of Housing Director Richard, as well as the support of her best friend, another Marvel Way resident, who’s always reminding her to do her step work. Her circle of friends is smaller, but they share stronger bonds and she can count on them. Nicole has a therapist that’s helping her, and children to stay sober for.
Living at Marvel Way, Nicole is focused on being there for her kids, and now grandkids! Her two youngest sons, ages 12 and 13, are living with her in a 1-bedroom apartment. She loves cheering them on at football games and bragging about how well they’re playing this season. Halloween and July 4th are her favorite holidays, and this year she enjoyed taking them to a haunted corn maze. She’s also reconnected with her two oldest children and, while she’s building the relationship slowly, is excited to be spending time with her two baby grandkids.
Work & Next Steps
Today, Hulihee works as a dispatcher for a local taxi service. It’s not her first time working as a dispatcher, and she enjoys her job a lot! As for next steps, she’s ready to get her driver’s license again, so she can become a driver for the company. Once she’s driving and can buy a car, she also looks forward to bringing her kids to Tahoe and taking herself to hot springs. She enjoyed many of the activities she got to try while in treatment at The Empowerment Center, like horseback riding, and hopes to find ways to do them again. She’s gotten pet cats for her boys and hopes to get a puppy next.
Nicole is on the waiting list for a 2-bedroom Marvel Way apartment and knows that having more space will be a huge step for her family. Putting her family first is a key part of how Hulihee is staying sober, after all. She’s recognized that men have brought her down in the past and knows she needs to prioritize being a mom. “I love being a mom,” she tells us. “I love having my kids back and am planning on doing it the right way this time.” She’s also practicing self-care, whether it be taking herself out to get her nails done or enjoying a full day of rest when she has her apartment to herself.
Advice from Nicole
“Keep going. Don’t give up, because then you’re letting your demons win,” Nicole advises. “At the end of the day, you will succeed – and it’s the best feeling. I fight my demons every day, every morning, but I tell them they’re not going to take advantage of me or take my joy. I’m in control. Don’t lose control, because if you do, you’re going to lose the battle.”